Thursday, August 27, 2009

Love Is NOT Compromise

(This in the continuation of the "What is Love?" post series)

True Love does not have to Compromise. When you find your “other” half, you will not have to compromise your view, values, ethics, or ways. Actually, you are asked to be more eccentric, daring, and carefree. Your fears disappear. When you are with another TRUE LOVE, who has mastered this art form, the true being of yourselves feed off each other like a fusion reactor, growing in magnitude and power each day. You fuse, burn and are reborn as a greater self. The ego does not die, but becomes a super-ego of we and us. Instead of being asked to be LESS of yourself, you are FORCED to be MORE of YOUR TRUE self. You discover hidden abilities, and powers. You become more childlike, in innocence and thinking. You become clearer in your purpose in life, and truer to the perfect image of yourself. You discover the unborn divinity within you.

Unfortunately, many people believe that True Love involves compromising who you really are. Yes, there are times and places for compromise, but being in love with the other half of you that resonates at the same frequency and harmonic is NOT ONE OF THEM (see my dark matter post for a explanation). As soon as you are asked to be LESS of yourself, you diminish not only yourself but the relationship as well. Yes, yes, yes, you are saying that every relationship requires compromise: nonsense. When you are with your other half, your “soul mate” so to speak, there is no need to compromise. You bend and weave together like a beautiful tapestry, adding color and substance to each others’ lives. Yes, this is why TRUE LOVE and finding a SOUL MATE is so rare. It is usually because we start off all our relationships with compromises and in the end, settle for something less that what we want or deserve. If you want TRUE LOVE, do not compromise yourself for anything less than what you deserve!

Now, some people will settle for something less, something more ordinary and mundane in a love relationship. As a Master of Love, I have found whenever I have to compromise or back off from my true self, the relationship usually ends shortly thereafter. Others are able to “eat crow” in order to stay in a diminished capacity relationship, and bravo for them. What I am saying, is when you “discover” your True Love, something truly magical will happen and compromise is not part of the equation.

Yes, even those who have found their True Love will have disagreements. That is part of the growing process. But these disagreements are actually opportunities to grow closer not further apart. When you are “paired” with your harmonic match, each person’s new perspective is added to the others. These “differences” are accepted for the grace and beauty they bring to the relationship as opposed to a possible gulf of ideas that could estrange each party.In contrast , when you are forced to compromise yourself or your ideals with a “difference” in a love relation, they usually turn into arguments. Then instead of focusing on the relationship, you are now developing strategies on how to “manage” your partner, or their anger, or your anger, or your feelings. This is a WASTE of TIME and if you can settle for this situation, then I pity you, for you will NEVER get to the love you deserve.

What ever you do or become, be true to yourself! Joan

Monday, August 10, 2009

Love Demands Action and is Expansive

(This in the continuation of the "What is Love?" post series)

Love cannot sit still, but must continuously grow. Like two vines intertwined, Love needs to constantly be reaching new heights and take risks. Yes, I said take risks. Contentment is absolutely the most destructive thing for Love’s growth. It makes us lazy, and starts to impose expectations upon us that the other person will tend to our needs and desires. Love takes constant cooperation and agitation in order to grow and flourish.

The worst thing that you can do to Love is to be content and get into a routine. It is a fallacy to EXPECT love to be there because it was there yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that. Yes, love is enduring, but it demands action to keep it growing. A Love that does not grow, will shortly whither away into a memory. Love forces us into unknown and uncharted places and forever keeps us asking what can I do to make this thing better? How can I love differently, or more uniquely, or more deeply, or more fully? The love you had yesterday is still good for today, but today’s love is demanding something more. And when you become a master of Love, you are ready to give it. You are excited to see what new thing Love has brought you, how what you thought was impossible is now possible, how a place you thought you could never get to you are now standing it. Love takes you to places unimagined! Love is a time machine, both forwards and backwards. It makes you a child and at the same time wise; a fool and a scholar. Love brings together things that should not be together. When two people who are masters of Love are IN LOVE, the world DISAPPEARS! Yes, they ARE the only two people in the whole world and everyone else is envious of them.

May the world be envious of you,
Joan

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Love Demands Parity

(This in the continuation of the "What is Love?" post series)

A friend of mine, who happens to be a Master Jedi of Love, was talking to me about love and what to expect in a relationship. As I was explaining to her the aspects of true love, I illustrated an analogy about parity using a Cheetah as an example. I chose Cheetahs to represent people who have mastered the Art of Love. Cheetahs are the fastest, most agile mammals on earth. They hunt with reckless abandon, so much so that each time they reach top speed in pursuit of their quarry they are virtually on the cusp of death (hum, sort of like how real LOVE is supposed to be). Anyway, I was explaining to her about when one person in a relationship is a Cheetah, and the other is not. Her question was, "Can a Cheetah be in a happy relationship with a non-Cheetah?", and unfortunately the answer was no. In her heart, she already knew the answer, as in her present relationship she was already starting to find out he was not a real Cheetah and compiling a list of of items in which they were not in parity.

Why can a Cheetah not be with a non-Cheetah and be happy? Because one of two things will happen: The non-Cheetah will try to cage and bring down the Cheetah, instead of letting it run wild, run free, and always return home with the kill. Non-Cheetahs will be jealous of the Cheetah’s skill, power, energy, and ability to always bounce back and to run free. Anyway, you have to ask yourself, is a Cheetah in a cage really a Cheetah? Doesn’t a Cheetah HAVE to be free to be a Cheetah? Of course it does!

On the other hand, the Cheetah will not be able to slow down enough to let the non-Cheetah keep up. Asking to keep up with frustrate the Cheetah to no end. The non-Cheetah or the Cheetah or both will get irritated with the other person, and there will be a huge discord and no matter how likeable, or affable the non-cheetah is, they STILLWILL NOT BE A CHEETAH! So, if you are a Cheetah in that you have mastered love, know what you really WANT in a love relationship, and have the power to truly Love another person, you will ONLY be happy when you are with another Cheetah. And ONLY another Cheetah will be happy with you! Having the power of Love DEMANDS parity. In this case, the ability of two people to love each other to the same mastery. This is just like I explained in my Dark Matter blog about vibrations and rightness of fit. If you hide your power, or try to force a relationship it just will not work. Many people get into a relationship or stay together out of fear of being alone or just due to inertia, but eventually; you will not want to be with that person, so start looking for your equal Cheetah now!

So can two non-Cheetahs be happy together? Yes and no. In any relationship, there will be one person who is going to grow or will grow faster than their partner and strive to be a Cheetah. They are looking to become a master of love, and when that happens, if the other person has not grown as well or is not becoming a Cheetah too, then, well you KNOW what is going to happen: Discord, heartache, and an eventual breakup.

May you be and find your Cheetah!
Joan