Love Is NOT Compromise

(This in the continuation of the "What is Love?" post series)

True Love does not have to Compromise. When you find your “other” half, you will not have to compromise your view, values, ethics, or ways. Actually, you are asked to be more eccentric, daring, and carefree. Your fears disappear. When you are with another TRUE LOVE, who has mastered this art form, the true being of yourselves feed off each other like a fusion reactor, growing in magnitude and power each day. You fuse, burn and are reborn as a greater self. The ego does not die, but becomes a super-ego of we and us. Instead of being asked to be LESS of yourself, you are FORCED to be MORE of YOUR TRUE self. You discover hidden abilities, and powers. You become more childlike, in innocence and thinking. You become clearer in your purpose in life, and truer to the perfect image of yourself. You discover the unborn divinity within you.

Unfortunately, many people believe that True Love involves compromising who you really are. Yes, there are times and places for compromise, but being in love with the other half of you that resonates at the same frequency and harmonic is NOT ONE OF THEM (see my dark matter post for a explanation). As soon as you are asked to be LESS of yourself, you diminish not only yourself but the relationship as well. Yes, yes, yes, you are saying that every relationship requires compromise: nonsense. When you are with your other half, your “soul mate” so to speak, there is no need to compromise. You bend and weave together like a beautiful tapestry, adding color and substance to each others’ lives. Yes, this is why TRUE LOVE and finding a SOUL MATE is so rare. It is usually because we start off all our relationships with compromises and in the end, settle for something less that what we want or deserve. If you want TRUE LOVE, do not compromise yourself for anything less than what you deserve!

Now, some people will settle for something less, something more ordinary and mundane in a love relationship. As a Master of Love, I have found whenever I have to compromise or back off from my true self, the relationship usually ends shortly thereafter. Others are able to “eat crow” in order to stay in a diminished capacity relationship, and bravo for them. What I am saying, is when you “discover” your True Love, something truly magical will happen and compromise is not part of the equation.

Yes, even those who have found their True Love will have disagreements. That is part of the growing process. But these disagreements are actually opportunities to grow closer not further apart. When you are “paired” with your harmonic match, each person’s new perspective is added to the others. These “differences” are accepted for the grace and beauty they bring to the relationship as opposed to a possible gulf of ideas that could estrange each party.In contrast , when you are forced to compromise yourself or your ideals with a “difference” in a love relation, they usually turn into arguments. Then instead of focusing on the relationship, you are now developing strategies on how to “manage” your partner, or their anger, or your anger, or your feelings. This is a WASTE of TIME and if you can settle for this situation, then I pity you, for you will NEVER get to the love you deserve.

What ever you do or become, be true to yourself! Joan

Do I Have a Soul Mate?

The legend of a "soul mate" came from the drunken story telling sessions way back in the days of the early Greeks. As the legend goes, the gods once made mankind perfect with two heads, four arms and four legs and two different sets of genitals. In this state, mankind was extremely happy. For some unknown reason, the gods became angry with mankind and separated them. With this, mankind was doomed to wander the earth looking for its other perfect half.

Of course this was just a story made up by drunken Greeks to amuse other drunken Greeks, but the concept took on.

The important point here is that there is no such thing as a soul mate. You may find someone you get along with well, but there always be compromise. The perfect person for you (or I, or anyone) does not exist in a natural state. There are forces that naturally bring certain people together, and in some instances we are predisposed based on our temperament and intelligence to be highly attracted to another individual.

We are all individuals and should be looking for an individual who we can love for their faults as well as their good points. Men do not think like women (and visa versa) and hence do not understand us (or we them). We have to carefully train them as to what does and does not work in a relationship with us. Patience is a must and expecting a potential mate to be perfect right off the bat is a misguided idea. Love takes a lot of work, and over the period of the next couple of months, I will go into more detail as to how best achieve mastery of Love.

I do feel that if you are realistic, you will meet someone you are quite happy with, but you must be willing to make allowances for some of the differences in you, and most importantly both of you must be willing to work toward building a loving, long term relationship. There are a lot of things that make a relationship sour (and I will talk about that too in my future post). That is NOT to say that over time and with a great deal of practice and effort and knowledge two people cannot end up being like "two hearts beating as one," or in other parlance, "soul mates."

As much as people want to, you cannot Force this condition to exist. Many people want to connect with their partner and no matter how much effort they expend, it just will not happen. Building a committed bond takes a lot of time, love, and work. Yes work! Believe it or not the initial commitment to love does involve a chemical "dependency" that I will go into in some of my future posts, but that is only the start. In essence, initially you really do become "addicted" to your partner, and that addiction can result in some of the best, and worst, feelings imaginable. Addiction is NOT Love. But no fear, in the end it is ALL good. I will help guide you (if you want) to become a Master of Love instead of a Slave to it.

Bottom line: Soul Mates are not found, but created.