Is Love just a Chemical Addiction?

When we “fall in love” it is a beautiful thing, but did you know that most of the time, our own endocrine system (the part of the body that naturally produces hormones and chemicals) hijacks our ability to think rationally? I have always loved science, but cannot help but believe in the esoteric, since I do not just sense, feel, see but also live in this life. The problems arise when our more primordial self (chemicals, hormones, needs) collides with our higher self (thought, discipline, honor, reason, and integrity). As I wrote in the earlier blog about “What is Love?” this posting will try to reconcile the two when it comes to the matter of Love and offer a little explanation as to how the chemicals that get produced when we first fall in love can actually hijack our journey to true Love. I guess the larger question is do you want to be a Master of or a Slave to Love? One leads to freedom, the other to a viscous cycle of pain and joy, and then eventually to just numbness.

A very strong aspect of falling in Love involves a chemical reaction. That is why we feel that we cannot help ourselves when we feel such intense emotions towards the object of our affection, making it difficult to break away even when it is in our best interest to do so. The chemicals our brain produces when we initially “fall in love” with someone have been proven to be even more addictive than the most dangerous and addictive street drugs. Yet these chemicals only create an environment of euphoria, not LOVE.

In actuality, the production of these chemicals this has to do more with lust, desire, and procreation, that true Love. Love is not about the Chemicals, or more importantly, the chemicals create an environment that actually hijacks our ability to truly love. On the positive side, these chemical do open us up to being able to change, and be more pliable as subjects to change toward a more selfless love, but unfortunately most people fall into the toxic side of it. Since most people are not students in mastering Love, from my observation, the chemically induced state is really is more damaging than good. Much of the work I do is in getting people past the chemicals and into the spiritual and higher brain functions of Love.

People do not realize that Love is an art form that can be learned, much in the same way as martial arts or self defense is learned. And while these chemicals are very important in that learning process, they can often get us stuck in an addictive form of want, envy, jealousy, possessiveness, and rage. My goal is to help you recognize this form of insanity and addiction when it is happening and move you into a higher brain mastery of being able how to control your feelings and thoughts and give you skills to be a true master of Love. When you become a master of Love, you can actually control the production of some of these chemicals and create the “in love” environment on demand instead of being a slave to the “next” person syndrome.


Another aspect of Love is spiritual. As we become "connected" to the person we love through "a force that connects us all" (I like to call it “life energy”), we start to tap into a form of psychic awareness with our significant other that is actually heightened by the chemicals we are automatically producing. That is why you can think about your love interest right before the phone rings and sure enough it is your love calling you. That is why sometimes you know what they are thinking even before they say it. This connection is also why it is so difficult to let go when it is time to do so. Remember, these are just chemicals, not true love. Maybe think of them as parlor tricks. While I do not believe in soul mates, I do believe strongly in Love and in how to develop yourself into the best vehicle to be able to give and receive the Love you deserve. Yes there is a lot about Love to learn: the pain, the pleasure and all that goes with it. Unfortunately, most people get stuck on the chemical rush that comes with falling in love, and barely scratch the spiritual or higher brain mental functions that come with deep, unyielding, life changing Love. Once the chemicals of “falling in love” fade (and they will fade), we are left with an empty feeling of wondering “What in the hell was I thinking?”, or worse yet, are caught in an unyielding spiral of trying to get that “addictive, euphoric feeling” of being in love back again. We go chasing after that high, and end up in one bad relationship after another. These chemicals are strong, but they are not Love, and that my dear friends IS the problem. It may feel like Love, but it is only the beginning.

In future postings, I will try to explain in more detail how to recognize and develop true Love, what is going on chemically when we fall in love, how to grow spiritually in Love with another person, and explain how to strengthen yourself to be able to avoid love’s pitfalls in order to achieve the Love you deserve and want. Believe it or not, there is a way to learn how to control the raging chemicals that engulf our brains, and everyone has the capacity to learn how to love better, fuller, more deeply and find the right love for you, while at the same time avoid the traps that come with chemically addictive love.

Hope this shed some light on the uncontrolled reasons for the feelings we have when we fall in Love. My love to you all.Joan