(This in the continuation of the "What is Love?" post series)
A friend of mine, who happens to be a Master Jedi of Love, was talking to me about love and what to expect in a relationship. As I was explaining to her the aspects of true love, I illustrated an analogy about parity using a Cheetah as an example. I chose Cheetahs to represent people who have mastered the Art of Love. Cheetahs are the fastest, most agile mammals on earth. They hunt with reckless abandon, so much so that each time they reach top speed in pursuit of their quarry they are virtually on the cusp of death (hum, sort of like how real LOVE is supposed to be). Anyway, I was explaining to her about when one person in a relationship is a Cheetah, and the other is not. Her question was, "Can a Cheetah be in a happy relationship with a non-Cheetah?", and unfortunately the answer was no. In her heart, she already knew the answer, as in her present relationship she was already starting to find out he was not a real Cheetah and compiling a list of of items in which they were not in parity.
Why can a Cheetah not be with a non-Cheetah and be happy? Because one of two things will happen: The non-Cheetah will try to cage and bring down the Cheetah, instead of letting it run wild, run free, and always return home with the kill. Non-Cheetahs will be jealous of the Cheetah’s skill, power, energy, and ability to always bounce back and to run free. Anyway, you have to ask yourself, is a Cheetah in a cage really a Cheetah? Doesn’t a Cheetah HAVE to be free to be a Cheetah? Of course it does!
On the other hand, the Cheetah will not be able to slow down enough to let the non-Cheetah keep up. Asking to keep up with frustrate the Cheetah to no end. The non-Cheetah or the Cheetah or both will get irritated with the other person, and there will be a huge discord and no matter how likeable, or affable the non-cheetah is, they STILLWILL NOT BE A CHEETAH! So, if you are a Cheetah in that you have mastered love, know what you really WANT in a love relationship, and have the power to truly Love another person, you will ONLY be happy when you are with another Cheetah. And ONLY another Cheetah will be happy with you! Having the power of Love DEMANDS parity. In this case, the ability of two people to love each other to the same mastery. This is just like I explained in my Dark Matter blog about vibrations and rightness of fit. If you hide your power, or try to force a relationship it just will not work. Many people get into a relationship or stay together out of fear of being alone or just due to inertia, but eventually; you will not want to be with that person, so start looking for your equal Cheetah now!
So can two non-Cheetahs be happy together? Yes and no. In any relationship, there will be one person who is going to grow or will grow faster than their partner and strive to be a Cheetah. They are looking to become a master of love, and when that happens, if the other person has not grown as well or is not becoming a Cheetah too, then, well you KNOW what is going to happen: Discord, heartache, and an eventual breakup.
May you be and find your Cheetah!
Joan
Saturday, August 01, 2009
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17 comments:
This is really heady stuff! Together with your "Love is about Freedom" post, this one is just beautiful as well! You are really putting together some great stuff on what to look out for in love and relationships. I now know that in many of my own relationships, that there was a lack a parity (equality) in how much I loved and how much he loved. I can now see clearer that without this love parity, every relationship is pretty much unbalanced and increases its chances of failure. Now you have to write something on what to do to find this balance. I read you have thinking of a book about love? Maybe one on the how tos of how to spot and attract your cheetah? Keep on writing Joan! This is great stuff.
As a guy, I never thought of love this way, but now I see how every relationship that I started ended in a disaster. I understood about love more and came from a better background, so essentially my love interest was doomed before it was started. I will see about this parity thing in my next relationship. My present girlfriend sent me this link BTW.
Wow, what a concept about being and growing as equals. Like the analogy to cheetahs (one of my favorite animals). You really have a way of putting things into a great perspective. Thanks for all the posts!
Joan, what a wonderful post! I have always wondered about being more "advanced" about love than my boyfriends. It seems like they think that just saying "I love you" is enough to get by! God, I hope there is another guy out there who understands that in order to be happy with your significant other, you need to be equally capable of loving them!
I read your "Love take Practice" post as well, and taken together guys have to understand that love is more that just going through the motions.
Thanks Joan for this post. Hopefully more guys will read it!
This blog is right on the money! I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3-1/2 years precisely because of this! I wish I could have had him read this beforehand. Not to sound superior or anything, but I just knew more about how to love and be in a relationship than my boyfriend. There was just no "parity" in what we were all about. Taken together, you posts would be a great book or how to if you ever decide to do so? I just wish you had started this blog a lot earlier, but thank you for sharing!
Amanda
I never thought of love requiring parity before. I always thought if you loved someone, it did not matter if they loved you back, your love would be enough. Sadly, I have come to find out this is NOT enough! Yes, most of my relationships have ENDED precisely because there as a disparity in how much I loved and they loved. This is really heady stuff, but I think you are right on here.
Most guys do not understand that love requires equality in almost every aspect. Joan, your blogs really touch a nerve in me and I especially am impressed by "Love is about Freedom, not Possession." You need to take all this wisdom and put it in a book. I think you mentioned you were going to do so in one of your posts. I cannot wait to read it!
OMG, I just read this and cannot believe how true it is! I first read your blog on Love Demands Action and is Expansive, but this post is just so perfectly put. It is incredible the amount of wisdom you have! How did you come up with this stuff? From experience or observation? It is just amazing your insight into something few people understand much less practice!
A friend of mine told me about this blog concerning love and I have to agree, it is really insightful. Hopefully, there is more coming?
Equality and freedom in a relationship? What a novel concept! I never though I would read about this. Whoever you are with must be very lucky for you to understand this? Keep up the great posts.
I wish I had read this blog BEFORE I started dating my last boyfriend! I guess I never realized how people should be equals in a love relationship. I just cannot believe how beautiful your posts are. You really, really get it. Wow, whomever you are in love with must be some lucky guy? Of course he would probably get this post too? Anyway, this is so right on that I just cannot believe it!
I cannot believe how much this is true. I just shared this with my boyfriend and he now understands what I have been trying to say for the 4 months we have been dating! Is there an instruction manual somewhere that you have? Anyway, I will be sure to tell all my friends about this post. It is beautiful and powerful in its simplicity and straightfoward message. Love does demand parity. Love the cheetah comparison.
This is so very beautiful. I always knew this was true in my heart but could never voice it. I am so glad someone whit your experience sees it the same way.
OMG, this is just too true! I cannot believe you wrote this! Damn, there is should be a book just on this topic. Guys just do NOT get it. Hello, we want equals not overlords! Wow, just really power s*?#!
This blog is just so on the money i cannot believe it! Joan, you really and totally understand what love is all about. Have you experienced this or are you just sighting from observations? There is nothing more true than that love demands parity! Wow! Really, really powerful stuff here! I am so glad I stumbled onto this!
This is a very interesting post as I have never read anywhere about how you can expect "equal" love. I guess this is why some relationships break up, even when both people like each other? Unfortunately, I am usually the one who is more "advanced" in my understanding of love and relationships, and end up having to say goodbye. Now I know why.
This is fantastic! I cannot believe someone else in the whole universe finally gets this! I cannot tell you how many guys I have told this this to (but not quite so eloquently)!
Damn, when they say "It's not you, it's me," what they are really saying this that we are NOT equals. A guy may think just because we have sex that he knows a thing or two about love, but he really does not.
Yes, girls like sex too, but we (OK I), really want so much more. My heart aches for a man who can love me like I know how to love. Is there someone out there?
I blather, but thanks for the post. I see I am not alone (figuratively speaking). God, I do not want to settle, but the way things are going, it looks like I will have to. Too bad and it makes me sad to not have the reciprocal love I deserve!!!
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